As We Slept

you told me that one night

as you rolled over me in bed

I flung my arms around you and

hung on for dear life

at the time you didn’t know how to escape

my first question to that was

why would you want to?

 

my second question was

what else have I done, what else

have you not told me about the time spent

as we slept?

 

you told me that one night

I reached out with my hand

to press my fingers around your arm so tightly

that they left marks on the underside of your skin

the next day you tried to erase them

but could not get rid

of the lovely bruises I’d given you

 

I apologized for anything

that might have hurt you, yet

your true concern was that the marks I left

were visible to others

 

as we slept

I dreamt of our waking moments together

letting down the barriers I put up

allowing all of you in, as we slept

 

you did not tell me that

at night, when we turned the lights off and

closed our eyes, I had a habit

of mumbling my secrets into your shoulder

that over time I’d started to say

everything I refused to admit in the daylight

when the night hours took over my lips

 

if you had told me the real reason

you left was because my whispers

kept you awake

I would have understood

 

as we slept

you saw me for who I really am

and realized that my dreams were not

ones you wanted to share, as we slept