penelope, of ithaca
I.
Years ago I stood on the shore
as you sailed beyond the horizon line
to claim your destiny, to become more,
to fill your heart and to break mine
I stayed until the sky grew dark
wanting to follow you into the night
never believing, even in part,
that you wouldn’t return from this fight
If the gods laugh at me,
then let them laugh.
II.
Twenty years.
One two three four five six seven eight nine ten
eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen
sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen
twenty.
When you left I was little more than a woman
Our son, a little less than a boy.
That part, the songs got right.
III.
Every day I prayed for you
every night you were in my dreams
I watched you live, I watched you kill,
I heard your foes fade into screams
Up above, the stars shone bright,
your figure not among them yet
They told me that I wasn’t right.
That you were gone. Your mother wept.
If the people laugh at me,
then let them laugh.
IV.
Telemachus, he asked me,
why I wouldn’t let him challenge Antinous.
Your father will finish the job, I told him.
How do you know?
It is my way. I know.
V.
Your ship was gone. Your men were gone.
You lost your victory to the sea.
Even with Athena on your side,
for years you couldn’t get back to me.
The men mistook my kindness for
a weakness they would happily use.
Every night they’d drink and roar
about which one of them I would choose.
If the men laugh at me,
then let them laugh.
VI.
But I was not lost to you. Nor were you lost to me.
While the ocean played its cruel tricks,
I was there.
When you washed up on Circe’s shore, Calypso’s shore,
I knew that your dalliances with goddesses
would be nothing compared to us.
The songs, they love to say of me: meek, mild, patient.
Do you think I would have waited for so long
if I thought for even a moment
that one of them could keep you from me?
In another lifetime, you wanted me more than Helen.
The most beautiful woman in Greece, you said,
is not the one they are fighting this war over.
VII.
Years ago I stood on the shore
I stayed until night turned to day
never believing, even in part,
that you could ever lose your way.
Your woman waits.
She watches, too.
Her body, home,
her spirit, with you.
The last laugh
was always going to be mine.