The first time you kissed me
we were in Washington Square Park
in the center of everything
listening to syncopated bongo drums
sitting on a bench
surrounded by everything I love
The first time you kissed me
I wanted to run screaming into the night
I wanted to buy a ticket to the next millennium
I wanted to never let go
never stop
I wanted
I wanted you
Through the walls I can hear
people in the next room
talking, laughing
They will never know how this feels
The first time we fucked
you held me up against the wall
in broad daylight
took off all my clothes
and did me on top of your covers
without a second thought
I memorized the smell of your skin
and how your lips felt on my body
how your teeth felt
how bruises blossomed and exploded
on my skin
on me
all over me
I let my forbidden, hidden desires grow
underground, in the dark tunnels
under the fluorescent lights of the steel metro car
I took a hit of you and quickly overdosed
falling into your shoulder
as we sat on metal seats and clattered away into nothing
I felt the electric lines of the city stab through me
and race on
I let myself be static
I didn’t care
all that mattered was that we were infinite
The last time we fucked
we locked fingers as I rode you
I moaned when you flipped me over
you trembled when I bit your ear
I groaned when you pulled my hair
you came on my stomach, I let you
The last time we fucked
was the first time I stayed the night
we pulled away
kicking off the sheets in troubled dreams
where I could not join you
where you could not save me
When the morning came
I ran from the monsters in your closet
picking up my clothes
tip-toeing away while you slept
before you woke up
you awaken
you woke up
I felt the jagged electric lines set as the sun rose
and raced on
I let myself be static
I didn’t care
all that mattered was that I was infinite
You were a stop around 42 nd Street and Broadway
lit bright with neon lights
a brief pause on staggering steel tracks
I am in love with the doors that closed on us
I watch the hours crawl by
slowly coming to a stand
walking away over the horizon
Through the walls I can hear
people talking, laughing
they will never know you
The last time I kissed you
we were in Washington Square Park
surrounded by everything I love
in the center of everything
standing by the fountain
in warm summer air
The last time I kissed you
I ran screaming into the night
I became the electric lines of the city
I wanted to never stop
never let go
I did not want
did not want you